An Accidental Reboot
When Life Forces a Software Update
On Tuesday I woke up after only three hours of sleep. Got my son ready and off to school, then came back home, sat on the sofa and felt blank.
Not tired, despite the lack of sleep, just like I couldn't be bothered with anything. Blank is the best way I can describe it. Saying I was unmotivated or unbothered would suggest I felt something, but I could have sat there all day just staring into space. It was like I had too many apps open and then tried to launch productivity.exe and my brain pushed out a not responding error.
I tried to trick myself into action by visualising being productive. Thinking through some of the things on my to do list. A bit of writing, bit of cleaning or completing the woodwork project for my Dad's birthday.
The plan was, if I closed my eyes and imagined doing those things, one of them would feel right and spark a tiny bit of motivation.
Instead, my body hit Ctrl+Alt+Del and forced a reboot.
I closed my eyes to "visualise" and opened them five hours later. The sun had moved in the sky. My to do list was untouched.
I was so annoyed. I hated myself. I hadn't done anything and the day felt wasted. I'd woken up with the best intentions, but then accidentally rebooted my brain.
I soon realised that my body had run a mandatory update after the reboot. I didn't choose it. I didn't schedule it. But apparently, I'd been running on an old glitchy version of the OS for too long, and the system (my brain) decided enough was enough.
Sometimes you just need to shut down and when you won't choose it yourself, your body will do it for you.
Rest isn't optional maintenance. It's supposed to be scheduled downtime, and if you keep cancelling or putting it off, you risk the machine bricking itself.
I wasn't lazy by taking a nap. In fact, the nap was actually two hours longer than my nights sleep! It was long overdue systems maintenance. And now I'm back online with a new software update, one that doesnt have the Regret Lag bug. Where you realise that worrying and being annoyed for what has already happened and can't be changed is pointless. Wallowing in despair won't help future you.
The day isn't totally wasted, not now I realise that there are still 8 to 10 hours before my next scheduled downtime. I also know that if I just work towards one thing on my todo list, that will likely be all the momentum I need to keep the ball rolling.
Motivation isn't a program that you can open and use when you need to use it. It's something that comes when you start working on something.
It reminds me of the quote:
"...Motivation doesn't cause action. Action causes motivation." - Neil Pasricha
And if you can't be bothered to do anything because your body and mind have forced a shutdown, then how can you expect to feel motivation at all?
I listened to Alex Hormozi recently saying how he was so successful because when he thought he was done, when he was exhausted and ready for bed, he kept grinding and eventually learned how to function like that. Well, Hormozi and his hustle hard mentality should get some sleep then go again tomorrow!
The next time my system needs rebooting, I'd rather it be on my own terms, not an emergency mandatory reboot.
Are you due some downtime?
This piece showed up in my feed at the right time. I typically have my maintenance overdue for various reasons (like now) and then it causes major breakdowns and requires longer repairs. And every time, I try planning it in advance and still, I’m too late.