Your self-reflection is compelling. It is difficult not to see oneself in it, especially in how, as you put it, our biology, psychology and cognition evolve as life goes on.
I often think that if we had a broader cultural understanding of how cognition and emotion shift across the lifespan, we might be less burdened by feelings of sadness or inadequacy. The pressure to stay excited, to keep saying yes to the proverbial parachute jump, can lead us to feel at odds with the person life has shaped us into.
It is a transition that is often misread as failure, but of course it is not. It is more about alignment or congruence, where fulfilment is found differently from how it once was.
And thank you as well for the mention. I truly appreciate it. More than that, I’m grateful for your constant support & kindness. You're such a genuine person. It’s wonderful to have you as a friend on this platform <3
Thanks Dom, I appreciate that, I don't get elegant as a descriptor very often!
Especially as if anyone could actually see how I put together my posts they all feel held together with tape and hope!
I think if people just considered what is going on in their brains sometimes then lots of things would be very different. But I think the vast majority of people are running on autopilot never even considering why they think and feel as they do, they just react to the next thing that is put on front of them.
I was one of those people for a long time, I may have gone from not thinking at all to overthinking when it comes to subjects like this, but I have at least an inkling at what's going on in my head now! And armed with that knowledge I can better judge where best to find my own fulfilment.
You are more than welcome for the mention, it would have felt unfair not to mention your note when it was something that was on my mind as I wrote. The feeling is mutual, I think the platform as a whole really does bring out the best in people, some of the more well known and popular ones don't have that going for them anymore.
I think part of the reason people stay on autopilot is that there’s very little space in everyday life to pause and examine what’s going on internally. The pace, the pressure, the noise, it all keeps us externally focused. Reflection asks for stillness, and for many of us that can feel unfamiliar or, maybe, even uncomfortable! So the next thing appears, and we respond, without much thought about what’s underneath it. It is not a lack of depth, I think.
I would tend to agree, but when you look at the things that people do with their days, there are always gaps that could be created. When I think how much TV I watched 12 months ago, or how much I used my phone 6 months ago. I created gaps in which to think. Places to pause. But you’re right, life is busy and TV and phone use is part of that life and if people don’t get that chance to see what they could be doing instead, they’ll carry on as if on rails until something stops them.
First of all, I think that people who jump out of airplanes for fun are missing a few marbles. That being said, I loved this piece, and being a woman of a certain age- I totally identify with it. My take on it is that I used to love that rush, that thrill, the speed, the rollercoaster drops, all of it. I also read true crime stories for fun. After I became a parent, it wasn't as fun anymore. I think the reality of the bad things that can actually happen to us, to our loved ones creates real fear. We don't need to be fake scared, when there are actual monsters in the world. Thank you for this. Love, Virg
Yeah, something definitely shifts as most of us get older. The thrill of theme parks—the kind that knock the wind out of you and jerk your back into positions it shouldn’t go in suddenly loses its appeal.
I immediately thought of my teen years of riding a motorcycle, rollerblading up a hill, and savoring those experiences so much. Now, I can't even imagine it as I think of the potential injuries, medical bills, planning, equipment investment. Fun got complicated as you say here. I am the fun planner so when my husband said he is planning a trip and I said don't tell me anything about it, I finally feel some excitement! I have NO idea where we are going, what we will do, where we will eat. And usually I have lists. Thanks for raising this issue to consider as it's been on my mind a lot lately. Perhaps sparking a post of my own!
I used to ride a motorcycle too, I cut that from the post but two people have mentioned it in the comments now so I should have left that in. I gave up when my son was born, too risky to stake my son’s future on my own enjoyment.
It’s a stark contrast that medical bills are a specific category for some of you, seperate to just injury. At least in the UK we can be recklessly dangerous without the worry of a large bill for injuring ourselves.
Fun sure did get complicated. I’m glad you’re getting some soon though. That’s actually great that you get to let go of some of the mental baggage of planning and let your husband take the reins. I’m sure you’ll have a great time! Whatever it is you end up doing!
I’ll look forward to seeing yours if and when you write it!
I think I cut it from the post but I used to ride motorcycles too, I quit when my son was born, it's not your riding you need to worry about, but other drivers! It was amazing though, something about being so exposed and feeling the wind the faster you went.
I see the fast and furious types on our roads and wonder how more of them don't have accidents. Some of them are either seriously skilled or seriously lucky!
It's a combination of skill & luck but true...you have to factor the other drivers skill, attention and the vehicle's maintenance or lack of it thereof.
What an elegant narrative, Mark.
Your self-reflection is compelling. It is difficult not to see oneself in it, especially in how, as you put it, our biology, psychology and cognition evolve as life goes on.
I often think that if we had a broader cultural understanding of how cognition and emotion shift across the lifespan, we might be less burdened by feelings of sadness or inadequacy. The pressure to stay excited, to keep saying yes to the proverbial parachute jump, can lead us to feel at odds with the person life has shaped us into.
It is a transition that is often misread as failure, but of course it is not. It is more about alignment or congruence, where fulfilment is found differently from how it once was.
And thank you as well for the mention. I truly appreciate it. More than that, I’m grateful for your constant support & kindness. You're such a genuine person. It’s wonderful to have you as a friend on this platform <3
Thanks Dom, I appreciate that, I don't get elegant as a descriptor very often!
Especially as if anyone could actually see how I put together my posts they all feel held together with tape and hope!
I think if people just considered what is going on in their brains sometimes then lots of things would be very different. But I think the vast majority of people are running on autopilot never even considering why they think and feel as they do, they just react to the next thing that is put on front of them.
I was one of those people for a long time, I may have gone from not thinking at all to overthinking when it comes to subjects like this, but I have at least an inkling at what's going on in my head now! And armed with that knowledge I can better judge where best to find my own fulfilment.
You are more than welcome for the mention, it would have felt unfair not to mention your note when it was something that was on my mind as I wrote. The feeling is mutual, I think the platform as a whole really does bring out the best in people, some of the more well known and popular ones don't have that going for them anymore.
I think part of the reason people stay on autopilot is that there’s very little space in everyday life to pause and examine what’s going on internally. The pace, the pressure, the noise, it all keeps us externally focused. Reflection asks for stillness, and for many of us that can feel unfamiliar or, maybe, even uncomfortable! So the next thing appears, and we respond, without much thought about what’s underneath it. It is not a lack of depth, I think.
I would tend to agree, but when you look at the things that people do with their days, there are always gaps that could be created. When I think how much TV I watched 12 months ago, or how much I used my phone 6 months ago. I created gaps in which to think. Places to pause. But you’re right, life is busy and TV and phone use is part of that life and if people don’t get that chance to see what they could be doing instead, they’ll carry on as if on rails until something stops them.
First of all, I think that people who jump out of airplanes for fun are missing a few marbles. That being said, I loved this piece, and being a woman of a certain age- I totally identify with it. My take on it is that I used to love that rush, that thrill, the speed, the rollercoaster drops, all of it. I also read true crime stories for fun. After I became a parent, it wasn't as fun anymore. I think the reality of the bad things that can actually happen to us, to our loved ones creates real fear. We don't need to be fake scared, when there are actual monsters in the world. Thank you for this. Love, Virg
Thanks for reading Virg, I’m glad it hit the mark.
Yeah, something definitely shifts as most of us get older. The thrill of theme parks—the kind that knock the wind out of you and jerk your back into positions it shouldn’t go in suddenly loses its appeal.
Pretty sure that’s called wisdom.
haha I’m not getting boring, I’m getting wise!😂
That's how I frame it! 😂
It works 🖼️🦉
I immediately thought of my teen years of riding a motorcycle, rollerblading up a hill, and savoring those experiences so much. Now, I can't even imagine it as I think of the potential injuries, medical bills, planning, equipment investment. Fun got complicated as you say here. I am the fun planner so when my husband said he is planning a trip and I said don't tell me anything about it, I finally feel some excitement! I have NO idea where we are going, what we will do, where we will eat. And usually I have lists. Thanks for raising this issue to consider as it's been on my mind a lot lately. Perhaps sparking a post of my own!
I used to ride a motorcycle too, I cut that from the post but two people have mentioned it in the comments now so I should have left that in. I gave up when my son was born, too risky to stake my son’s future on my own enjoyment.
It’s a stark contrast that medical bills are a specific category for some of you, seperate to just injury. At least in the UK we can be recklessly dangerous without the worry of a large bill for injuring ourselves.
Fun sure did get complicated. I’m glad you’re getting some soon though. That’s actually great that you get to let go of some of the mental baggage of planning and let your husband take the reins. I’m sure you’ll have a great time! Whatever it is you end up doing!
I’ll look forward to seeing yours if and when you write it!
Director of operations for fun distribution 😂😂 Love it!
When I was about 18 I used to love borrowing my neighbours motorcycle for short trips. Today even the thought of getting on one gives me the chills.
I also remember street racing cars with my buddies and now if I remember those days I feel like "How crazy could you be you nitwit!'
I think I cut it from the post but I used to ride motorcycles too, I quit when my son was born, it's not your riding you need to worry about, but other drivers! It was amazing though, something about being so exposed and feeling the wind the faster you went.
I see the fast and furious types on our roads and wonder how more of them don't have accidents. Some of them are either seriously skilled or seriously lucky!
Good decision to quit the adrenalin!
It's a combination of skill & luck but true...you have to factor the other drivers skill, attention and the vehicle's maintenance or lack of it thereof.
And if you have ever been near a road you know that you just can’t count on other people at all!