Love it! For me MP was the introduction to silly smart British humour, and interestingly resonates with that of the French, according to my wife who’s French (from France, not Quebec). True skill is insulting someone without ever swearing!
I think I would agree with that but to build on it the true skill is in insulting someone without them even being aware they have been insulted. Like telling someone who is talking nonsense: “I love that you are so confident.” and they reply satisfied with a thankyou.
Proof that you don’t actually have to result to swearing to engage in a bit of taunting. I must confess I’ve never actually watched any of the Python films all the way through, my Dad used to watch them when I was a kid but I didn’t really pay much attention, having watched this clip though I do recognise quite a few insults and it explains the quirky behaviour of a maths teacher I once had where I just thought he was a bit mad, but was actually quoting John Cleese!
I was amused by an anecdote in Andrew Biswell’s biography of Anthony Burgess. When he was in the army in Malaya, Burgess’s armoured car broke down. The mechanic who came to deal with it inspected the vehicle and said : “Fuck it! The fucking fucker’s fucking fucked.”
Before I read your piece, I posted a note about shit, slavery and George Washington.
When he gets really angry, Moss in The IT Crowd says “”Motherflipper!”
When I wrote this I had no idea that the comments section would contain so much absolute gold. That sentence is amazing, it’s like a Russian doll with fuck nested so many times in it. I’m so glad you mentioned it.
I loved the IT Crowd, I think I may be due a rewatch.
I use “fuck” a lot! The cool thing about it (aside from all the ones that you mentioned) is we can use it as infix, like I “absofuckinglutely.” There are other examples, but I’ll be arsed if I can think of any right now. But it’s so cool because we’re used to English only having prefixes and suffixes. When I found out that infixes were a thing, it was only in other languages. But to find there IS an infix in English and it’s one of my favorite words totally made this language geek’s day!
Ah Riin, I wish I knew about infixes before I wrote this, they would have absofuckinglutely got a mention!
I have used them without ever knowing that they were a thing, it's unfuckingbelievable how natural they feel to say, but how alien they feel to write.
Now I know what to look for, I can think of several fanbloodytastic sweary versions that work really well. It's rifuckingdickulous that I didn’t spot them sooner!
This whole thing has been very infuckingformative. Thank you so much for reading and commenting to tell me about the extrafuckingordinary infix!
Twatwaffle and douchecanoe are a couple of favorites. I believe in using profanity appropriately. It does me good. Fuck is an all-purpose word. The watered down version is Mother Effer! Thanks Mark! Love, Virg
haha around the kids I used to say “Old Mother Hubbard” instead of Mother Effer, which sounds very Ron Burgundy.
Twatwaffle is a nice one, douche doesn’t really travel across the pond, maybe because the origin is French and they weren’t our favourite people at one time in history?
The key is appropriately, everything in fucking moderation.
Lol this was a great read. I grew up in a family where swearing was frowned upon, so I have always had a good sense of distinguishing appropriate situational context for swearing vs not swearing. My default is to not swear until familiarity lets me know the level of appropriateness. It has served me well.
In my writing, profanity has been something that has felt like it wants to be using sparingly. I enjoy creatively using alternatives that hint at the real word I’m implying… one of my favorites is to say *ish* in a place where it is obviously substituting “shit.” Gives a different character to my style. Or so I tell myself ha. At the very least, it’s just fun to me.
Your discussion of the emotional impact behind using profanity definitely makes a lot of sense to me… when I use it, it conveys emotionality. It holds a gravity and an importance because it’s less common for me to use.
It has never offended me for others to cursed but used in excess, it can be a little tiring. Like, yeah yeah. That stopped being shocking 100 fucks ago 😅 but it even then, it still depends on context.
As I was reading your different uses of fuck, it made me think of one my husband and I always enjoy throwing around (in good hearted fun of course!)… I think one of the characters in Shameless said it… “Fuck you, you fucking fuck!” Talk about versatility 😋
“Know your audience” is a good rule to live by, there are some people you just don’t swear in front of, and for me it was my Grandmother, if I ever got caught swearing in front of her she would have literally washed my mouth out with soap and water, she did it too my uncle when he was young, or so the story goes. So now I have a “granny filter” if its inappropriate to swear the granny filter is activated.
I agree about the people who use swearing as punctuation, I get that it’s so ingrained that it is basically part of their personality but it diminishes the impact of it if every second word is fuck.
I am actually really surprised at the comments on this post, people have made really brilliant points and observations and really all I expected was something like a night out with Gordon Ramsey!
haha thanks Wendy, “bellend” when used with just the right amount of mirth can be a term of endearment, but swap that for contempt and it can be worse than the C-bomb. I am particularly fond of that and also “ballbag” serves a similar purpose.
The (possibly) unintended imagery that scrotum breath conjured when I read it made me laugh. Then, as often happens my partner asked what I was laughing at and I told her to “Shut up scrotum breath!” and she countered with “Fuck you minge fingers.” and I can’t believe I didn’t include that in my post!
That also tells you a little bit about how we act around each other when the kids aren’t around!
Thanks Bette, I just swang by and found it. The trouble with so many subscriptions now is I just don’t have time to read everything from everyone I want to and I missed this. Had I read it before posting this I would have commented on the difference in swearing between the sexes and linked your post.
I think “knowing your audience” is a big part of swearing at work and that most people have a filter they can flick on when they need to, like you would infront of your granny, but some people were just made different and I think we all know some of them!
Trust me, I know. My email is out of control and then SS doesn’t have a good way to sort and categorize them to read. I’m not quite sure what the system is there. I have a spreadsheet I try to use so I make sure to read certain people, but it’s tough to keep up. There are so many amazing writers and so much to read on here. I could literally just listen to posts all day! lol
I do like a good spreadsheet but I don’t think it would work for me for Substack. I turned emails off when I joined, so I either go from the notifications or when people share their posts on notes most of the time. Neither system is perfect because pretty much everyone I subscribe to, I would like to read everything. I don’t beat myself up about missing a few posts here and there anymore though. Life’s just too busy now.
I have my email notifications on but ironically I don't use them very much. I generally look at what appears in the app and shout outs from people.
The spreadsheet is more for me to remember people that aren't at the forefront. I have my core group of people that I definitely know and remember that I want to read, but then there are others who aren't as solidified if that makes sense. They are usually newer writers I may not want to commit to following or subscribing to but I have an interest in.
I think as long as the people I’m connected with are writing they surface on my feed, I do sometimes remember I haven’t seen a person in a while and seek them out. I think Substack could do better at putting the “quieter” people in your network into your feed a bit more often.
Yes, I wish there was a better way of organizing notes and articles that show up on the top of my app feed. Those would be my two suggestions to improve!
And the fun of swearing in another language, not your first language: growing up in Quebec, as a bilingual anglo but in a French context, it’s always been more fun to say “esti caulis de tabernacle” than Fuck…. Our history of an oppressive Catholic church (like Ireland), meant that all the really intense words in Quebec French are religious “esti = osti/host”, “caulis = challis” and the equivalent of “fuck” is “tabernacl = tabernacle”
I think this might just have opened a fascinating door for me Bryn… I hadn’t considered swearing in other languages until you just mentioned this, but I’m getting the idea that swearing is tied to a culture’s taboos and as such in English, sexual words and bodily functions, as you have mentioned with Quebec French a lot of religious linked words, I seem to think that maybe Spanish or Italian there will be a lot of blasphemy related words that do the job. And I think Dutch swearing is disease based? I remember someone telling me that mentioning cancer is on par with the C-bomb back in the day when i used to play online games.
I may have to consider a sweary sequel where we go around the globe looking at swearing in other languages.
Thanks Bryn once again for setting my cogs turning.
And when I was in college I remember a prof telling me that the strongest swearing in Hungarian involved insulting someone’s parentage, generations back, the equivalent of “your grandmother wore army boots!” ;-)
I’ve just been looking into it, Russian centre’s heavily on insulting mother’s too, but that’s the tip of the iceberg, apparently the Russians have it down to an art form, and in Japan it’s much less about what you say, but how you say it. Honestly I really had no idea how different swearing is around the globe.
That example you just gave could be straight out of Monty Python!
And of course there’s the masterful creativity of Monty Python in the Holy Grail: https://youtu.be/M9DCAFUerzs?si=5xEjjAcOxxAgdcCw
Love it! For me MP was the introduction to silly smart British humour, and interestingly resonates with that of the French, according to my wife who’s French (from France, not Quebec). True skill is insulting someone without ever swearing!
I think I would agree with that but to build on it the true skill is in insulting someone without them even being aware they have been insulted. Like telling someone who is talking nonsense: “I love that you are so confident.” and they reply satisfied with a thankyou.
“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!!” Is and has forever been one of my most favorite lines EVER! 🤣
Proof that you don’t actually have to result to swearing to engage in a bit of taunting. I must confess I’ve never actually watched any of the Python films all the way through, my Dad used to watch them when I was a kid but I didn’t really pay much attention, having watched this clip though I do recognise quite a few insults and it explains the quirky behaviour of a maths teacher I once had where I just thought he was a bit mad, but was actually quoting John Cleese!
I was amused by an anecdote in Andrew Biswell’s biography of Anthony Burgess. When he was in the army in Malaya, Burgess’s armoured car broke down. The mechanic who came to deal with it inspected the vehicle and said : “Fuck it! The fucking fucker’s fucking fucked.”
Before I read your piece, I posted a note about shit, slavery and George Washington.
When he gets really angry, Moss in The IT Crowd says “”Motherflipper!”
When I wrote this I had no idea that the comments section would contain so much absolute gold. That sentence is amazing, it’s like a Russian doll with fuck nested so many times in it. I’m so glad you mentioned it.
I loved the IT Crowd, I think I may be due a rewatch.
I use “fuck” a lot! The cool thing about it (aside from all the ones that you mentioned) is we can use it as infix, like I “absofuckinglutely.” There are other examples, but I’ll be arsed if I can think of any right now. But it’s so cool because we’re used to English only having prefixes and suffixes. When I found out that infixes were a thing, it was only in other languages. But to find there IS an infix in English and it’s one of my favorite words totally made this language geek’s day!
Ah Riin, I wish I knew about infixes before I wrote this, they would have absofuckinglutely got a mention!
I have used them without ever knowing that they were a thing, it's unfuckingbelievable how natural they feel to say, but how alien they feel to write.
Now I know what to look for, I can think of several fanbloodytastic sweary versions that work really well. It's rifuckingdickulous that I didn’t spot them sooner!
This whole thing has been very infuckingformative. Thank you so much for reading and commenting to tell me about the extrafuckingordinary infix!
Twatwaffle and douchecanoe are a couple of favorites. I believe in using profanity appropriately. It does me good. Fuck is an all-purpose word. The watered down version is Mother Effer! Thanks Mark! Love, Virg
haha around the kids I used to say “Old Mother Hubbard” instead of Mother Effer, which sounds very Ron Burgundy.
Twatwaffle is a nice one, douche doesn’t really travel across the pond, maybe because the origin is French and they weren’t our favourite people at one time in history?
The key is appropriately, everything in fucking moderation.
Lol this was a great read. I grew up in a family where swearing was frowned upon, so I have always had a good sense of distinguishing appropriate situational context for swearing vs not swearing. My default is to not swear until familiarity lets me know the level of appropriateness. It has served me well.
In my writing, profanity has been something that has felt like it wants to be using sparingly. I enjoy creatively using alternatives that hint at the real word I’m implying… one of my favorites is to say *ish* in a place where it is obviously substituting “shit.” Gives a different character to my style. Or so I tell myself ha. At the very least, it’s just fun to me.
Your discussion of the emotional impact behind using profanity definitely makes a lot of sense to me… when I use it, it conveys emotionality. It holds a gravity and an importance because it’s less common for me to use.
It has never offended me for others to cursed but used in excess, it can be a little tiring. Like, yeah yeah. That stopped being shocking 100 fucks ago 😅 but it even then, it still depends on context.
As I was reading your different uses of fuck, it made me think of one my husband and I always enjoy throwing around (in good hearted fun of course!)… I think one of the characters in Shameless said it… “Fuck you, you fucking fuck!” Talk about versatility 😋
“Know your audience” is a good rule to live by, there are some people you just don’t swear in front of, and for me it was my Grandmother, if I ever got caught swearing in front of her she would have literally washed my mouth out with soap and water, she did it too my uncle when he was young, or so the story goes. So now I have a “granny filter” if its inappropriate to swear the granny filter is activated.
I agree about the people who use swearing as punctuation, I get that it’s so ingrained that it is basically part of their personality but it diminishes the impact of it if every second word is fuck.
I am actually really surprised at the comments on this post, people have made really brilliant points and observations and really all I expected was something like a night out with Gordon Ramsey!
Thanks for reading and commenting Natalie.
Greatly fucking admiring your efforts to explain this societal shitstorm to the general public of bellends
haha thanks Wendy, “bellend” when used with just the right amount of mirth can be a term of endearment, but swap that for contempt and it can be worse than the C-bomb. I am particularly fond of that and also “ballbag” serves a similar purpose.
I’d forgotten ballbag! Reminds me of calling my brother “scrotum breath” when we were kids
The (possibly) unintended imagery that scrotum breath conjured when I read it made me laugh. Then, as often happens my partner asked what I was laughing at and I told her to “Shut up scrotum breath!” and she countered with “Fuck you minge fingers.” and I can’t believe I didn’t include that in my post!
That also tells you a little bit about how we act around each other when the kids aren’t around!
Old Scrotum, the Wrinkled Retainer (Credit to Viv Stanshall)
Too funny - I just wrote a post a week or two a go on swearing in leadership through a feminist lens.
Thanks Bette, I just swang by and found it. The trouble with so many subscriptions now is I just don’t have time to read everything from everyone I want to and I missed this. Had I read it before posting this I would have commented on the difference in swearing between the sexes and linked your post.
I think “knowing your audience” is a big part of swearing at work and that most people have a filter they can flick on when they need to, like you would infront of your granny, but some people were just made different and I think we all know some of them!
Trust me, I know. My email is out of control and then SS doesn’t have a good way to sort and categorize them to read. I’m not quite sure what the system is there. I have a spreadsheet I try to use so I make sure to read certain people, but it’s tough to keep up. There are so many amazing writers and so much to read on here. I could literally just listen to posts all day! lol
I do like a good spreadsheet but I don’t think it would work for me for Substack. I turned emails off when I joined, so I either go from the notifications or when people share their posts on notes most of the time. Neither system is perfect because pretty much everyone I subscribe to, I would like to read everything. I don’t beat myself up about missing a few posts here and there anymore though. Life’s just too busy now.
I have my email notifications on but ironically I don't use them very much. I generally look at what appears in the app and shout outs from people.
The spreadsheet is more for me to remember people that aren't at the forefront. I have my core group of people that I definitely know and remember that I want to read, but then there are others who aren't as solidified if that makes sense. They are usually newer writers I may not want to commit to following or subscribing to but I have an interest in.
I think as long as the people I’m connected with are writing they surface on my feed, I do sometimes remember I haven’t seen a person in a while and seek them out. I think Substack could do better at putting the “quieter” people in your network into your feed a bit more often.
Yes, I wish there was a better way of organizing notes and articles that show up on the top of my app feed. Those would be my two suggestions to improve!
And the fun of swearing in another language, not your first language: growing up in Quebec, as a bilingual anglo but in a French context, it’s always been more fun to say “esti caulis de tabernacle” than Fuck…. Our history of an oppressive Catholic church (like Ireland), meant that all the really intense words in Quebec French are religious “esti = osti/host”, “caulis = challis” and the equivalent of “fuck” is “tabernacl = tabernacle”
I think this might just have opened a fascinating door for me Bryn… I hadn’t considered swearing in other languages until you just mentioned this, but I’m getting the idea that swearing is tied to a culture’s taboos and as such in English, sexual words and bodily functions, as you have mentioned with Quebec French a lot of religious linked words, I seem to think that maybe Spanish or Italian there will be a lot of blasphemy related words that do the job. And I think Dutch swearing is disease based? I remember someone telling me that mentioning cancer is on par with the C-bomb back in the day when i used to play online games.
I may have to consider a sweary sequel where we go around the globe looking at swearing in other languages.
Thanks Bryn once again for setting my cogs turning.
And when I was in college I remember a prof telling me that the strongest swearing in Hungarian involved insulting someone’s parentage, generations back, the equivalent of “your grandmother wore army boots!” ;-)
I’ve just been looking into it, Russian centre’s heavily on insulting mother’s too, but that’s the tip of the iceberg, apparently the Russians have it down to an art form, and in Japan it’s much less about what you say, but how you say it. Honestly I really had no idea how different swearing is around the globe.
That example you just gave could be straight out of Monty Python!
Fucking awesome article! My sister always tells me to use “freaking” instead of my go-to word…FUCK! Lol
Fuck yeah! Thanks for reading Yolanda.
Haha entertaining read brother
Thanks Kyle, appreciate it.