Wow, what a story. I think we can all relate to this on some level. We’ve all opted not to speak up for safety, to keep our job, or simply out of fear of conflict. It’s especially tricky when it’s a neighbor.
I had a neighbor once in an apartment complex who would play her music so loud that I could lip-sync to the words. It went on until two in the morning, for hours at a time. Rather than just calling the cops, I decided to knock on her door and ask her to please turn it down. The first time I knocked, it was fine—she turned it down. But the second time, she was pissed, stomped on the floorboards above me, and called me a bitch. So, the third time it happened, I called the cops. But clearly, she knew it was me.
In retrospect, I should’ve just called the cops from the start and saved myself the headache. And to top it off, I had to deal with passing her regularly, and she’d give me some pretty nasty glares.
I had the story written for a long time, and found the opportunity to use it.
That’s a really interesting point about how different your situation would be if you just called the cops from the offset. It actually drives quite a good point about how escalating up the scale from the off can be better than trying to sort it out amicably.
I like the Sun Tsu quote, for many reasons. The moral dilemma is also conditioned by capacity, mental health, picking your battles, and ultimate personal and societal impact. 😊 often not a simple decision, that's for sure.
A very intriguing story highlighting how silence can accumulate into bigger problems. The burden the situation puts on you morally is very interesting, and most of the time you probably won't think much of it.
I finally caught up to you! This is a very interesting quandry to ponder. I am not sure what I would have done in your place. I do hold secrets for people that I will take to my grave. However, I have spoken up to defend someone who was vulnerable and had to face the consequences of that. It's a "crisis of conscience." I try to do the right thing but when you don't know which thing is the right thing... That's a tough call. Thank you for this food for thought. Love, Virg
You never really know of course until you’re in the situation. I like to think there’s plenty I would do now but I will never really know until I’m faced with that particular dilemma!
Thanks for reading and I’m glad it gave you food for thought.
Agree with you that it's often stoicism. But just as often it's fear. That we'll remain unseen. That we'll be rejected. A hopelessness of ever being valued as our honest selves.
Wow, what a story. I think we can all relate to this on some level. We’ve all opted not to speak up for safety, to keep our job, or simply out of fear of conflict. It’s especially tricky when it’s a neighbor.
I had a neighbor once in an apartment complex who would play her music so loud that I could lip-sync to the words. It went on until two in the morning, for hours at a time. Rather than just calling the cops, I decided to knock on her door and ask her to please turn it down. The first time I knocked, it was fine—she turned it down. But the second time, she was pissed, stomped on the floorboards above me, and called me a bitch. So, the third time it happened, I called the cops. But clearly, she knew it was me.
In retrospect, I should’ve just called the cops from the start and saved myself the headache. And to top it off, I had to deal with passing her regularly, and she’d give me some pretty nasty glares.
I had the story written for a long time, and found the opportunity to use it.
That’s a really interesting point about how different your situation would be if you just called the cops from the offset. It actually drives quite a good point about how escalating up the scale from the off can be better than trying to sort it out amicably.
Yep - so wish I had just called the cops. I couldn’t wait to get out of that complex.
I like the Sun Tsu quote, for many reasons. The moral dilemma is also conditioned by capacity, mental health, picking your battles, and ultimate personal and societal impact. 😊 often not a simple decision, that's for sure.
It’s never as simple as it seems in hindsight, and of course it’s different for everyone.
A very intriguing story highlighting how silence can accumulate into bigger problems. The burden the situation puts on you morally is very interesting, and most of the time you probably won't think much of it.
If you don't feel the burden of responsibility what does that say? You don't value the situation, your part in it or something deeper or darker?
I finally caught up to you! This is a very interesting quandry to ponder. I am not sure what I would have done in your place. I do hold secrets for people that I will take to my grave. However, I have spoken up to defend someone who was vulnerable and had to face the consequences of that. It's a "crisis of conscience." I try to do the right thing but when you don't know which thing is the right thing... That's a tough call. Thank you for this food for thought. Love, Virg
You never really know of course until you’re in the situation. I like to think there’s plenty I would do now but I will never really know until I’m faced with that particular dilemma!
Thanks for reading and I’m glad it gave you food for thought.
Just the title of this is a mind-opening truth
It's sad, this years old seemingly suffering couple, and then the flaunted lie.
I've been pondering lately the saddest sins of silent omission.
When we fail to show our true selves to those most precious people in our lives.
How are you?
Fine.
Fine is probably the biggest lie ever told, for lots of different reasons.
Right! And with people we're closest to, silence itself is a lie. Even when not asked. When we're going through something and they haven't a clue.
And it’s often more related to someone wanting to remain stoic than refusal to open up.
Agree with you that it's often stoicism. But just as often it's fear. That we'll remain unseen. That we'll be rejected. A hopelessness of ever being valued as our honest selves.
You did okay. I wonder to what degree wifey went along with it. Great story, full of possibilities.
Thanks Douglas, well she wasn’t happy as it was going on, but she seemed quite pleased when suggesting he tell his friends what happened.