What a beautiful way to connect with your daughter Mark, and I love the idea of the disney hug!
We may think communications is effective in person with expressions and hand gestures, who'd have thought that writing would be better sometimes when our tone or expressions may give the wrong idea.
Thanks Moon, the hardest part for me is unlike to close loops, if you're not feeling great I want to help you now! But it's not about me and making me feel better, I'm glad I realised that.
It’s hard not to want to fix things right away, especially when you care deeply, but realizing it’s not about easing your own discomfort is such a profound shift to your emotional growth and empathy. Sometimes, just being there and holding space for someone is the most heartwarming thing you can do.
Your letter to your daughter is so powerful and how amazing that it brought on a Disney hug! It resonated so much for me when you describe those moments when you could see your daughter’s true essence surface when you cracked a joke, before she suppressed it. I see this so often and know that this is connected to the hard part part of being a teen but something still niggles me about why it should have to be THIS hard to be yourself and enjoy living. So many of our young’uns seem to suffering emotionally. It’s so sad. That said, your daughter is so lucky to have the love of a warm and caring family. Thanks so much for sharing this, I felt every word. And thanks so much the reference 🙏 sending Disney hugs to you all ♥️
Thanks for reading Louise, "I felt every word", that's exactly how I feel reading your posts, so I'm happy the reverse is true, I think that means I was able to capture it. I hope you and your family have a great Christmas.
This is so beautiful and heartfelt 🥺 Thank you for sharing, Mark 🙏🏻 The hug must have felt so heartwarming; even I feel like tearing up just from reading it 🥺
It's really tough navigating teenage life, and it means so much to know that your parents understand, love, and care about you. Thank you for being there for your daughter through these times and communicating with her in a non-confrontational manner. It's tough being a parent too but you've made an effort to express your love in a way that she can understand. I'm so happy to hear that you were able to connect after you wrote her this letter 💌
I'm wishing all the best for your daughter and whole family 🙏🏻💗
Such a heartfelt letter Mark. It's beautiful to see that a resolution was found by portraying your feelings in a different medium and I wish for your relationship to continue flourishing.
I wish you to know that you have a new dedicated daily reader! I sort through hundreds of newsletters weekly and yours and yours alone have interested me anyway here on Substack. I have one author on Medium, I am an avid fan of their drabbles lol.
I would love to follow you on social media if you can direct me to some links.
Thanks!
I even took the cool survey—great idea! As a reader, author, and consultant, I think everything entertaining interests me!
This is a very sweet piece that really moved me. Thank you. I have a few conversations that need to happen and while in the past I would have taken this approach, I’ve been challenged in recent years to lean into the risky and vulnerable unknown of real time. That said, I prefer your method. When do you suppose a letter is not the way to go?
Thanks for reading Paul, I think it depends entirely on the situation and the people involved. I'm very much a person who just wants to get things sorted and out of the way but there are times when this doesn't work.
I think you can only know when you're opening the door to a conversation what approach will work best. There's nothing stopping you from writing something and then reading it in person, then you can discuss it afterwards and if your mind goes blank you'll have it written down to refer to?
“Sometimes, when things feel too hard, make us worry, or are scary, we sabotage ourselves. It’s like saying, “If everything’s going to go wrong anyway, I’ll make it happen on my terms.””
This is exactly how I’ve felt about overwhelm and when things just start falling apart, or everything seems to be crumbling down around me.
“They don't have a map and a compass for everything, you don't always need to know which direction to go, but it’s not okay to give up on yourself. You are stronger than the spiral you’re in right now. I just don't know if you realise that?”
This right here is helpful for a mind that is in a shame spiral or just feeling completely down and close to giving up or not caring anymore. I resonate with this.
“That girl is still you. And I will never stop believing in her. I'll never stop believing that you can believe in yourself.”
She’s lucky to have you in her life to be able to have a person that stands behind her and believes in her. This is exactly how I want to be as a father to a daughter.
Oooh, signposted to this via Louise @divergentlearningdiaries Felt every word. Heading off now to show it my husband (also a marathon runner). Louise is right, it really shouldn’t be this hard for our kids (or, frankly, for us) There has definitely been a societal/cultural shift (or several) that has/have proved a step too far for our kids. I long for some ease & peace for our daughter (& by extension, for us). Thanks for sharing, Mark - Merry Christmas to you & your family.
Merry Christmas to you too, I'm glad you felt it too, it really shouldn't be so hard, we can only try our best for our kids, it does feel harder now, I can't pinpoint the shift, but I've definitely felt it.
Cute. Communicating that there is love behind your efforts is hard. You wrote a brave, lovely letter. Thanks for sharing the warmth of that disney hug with us.
Thanks for reading Jo, I'm all about learning too, quite often I won't realise that I actually know how to solve a problem, or act in a particular moment until it's too late, so when I do notice and act accordingly it's a big win for me. I guess I'm becoming more mindful, which allows me to put appropriate things in place. Definitely a win when I can do this.
What a beautiful way to connect with your daughter Mark, and I love the idea of the disney hug!
We may think communications is effective in person with expressions and hand gestures, who'd have thought that writing would be better sometimes when our tone or expressions may give the wrong idea.
This is indeed a love letter!
Thanks Moon, the hardest part for me is unlike to close loops, if you're not feeling great I want to help you now! But it's not about me and making me feel better, I'm glad I realised that.
It’s hard not to want to fix things right away, especially when you care deeply, but realizing it’s not about easing your own discomfort is such a profound shift to your emotional growth and empathy. Sometimes, just being there and holding space for someone is the most heartwarming thing you can do.
Your letter to your daughter is so powerful and how amazing that it brought on a Disney hug! It resonated so much for me when you describe those moments when you could see your daughter’s true essence surface when you cracked a joke, before she suppressed it. I see this so often and know that this is connected to the hard part part of being a teen but something still niggles me about why it should have to be THIS hard to be yourself and enjoy living. So many of our young’uns seem to suffering emotionally. It’s so sad. That said, your daughter is so lucky to have the love of a warm and caring family. Thanks so much for sharing this, I felt every word. And thanks so much the reference 🙏 sending Disney hugs to you all ♥️
Thanks for reading Louise, "I felt every word", that's exactly how I feel reading your posts, so I'm happy the reverse is true, I think that means I was able to capture it. I hope you and your family have a great Christmas.
This is so beautiful and heartfelt 🥺 Thank you for sharing, Mark 🙏🏻 The hug must have felt so heartwarming; even I feel like tearing up just from reading it 🥺
It's really tough navigating teenage life, and it means so much to know that your parents understand, love, and care about you. Thank you for being there for your daughter through these times and communicating with her in a non-confrontational manner. It's tough being a parent too but you've made an effort to express your love in a way that she can understand. I'm so happy to hear that you were able to connect after you wrote her this letter 💌
I'm wishing all the best for your daughter and whole family 🙏🏻💗
Thanks for reading Alea, I do enjoy your comments, always so thoughtful. Thank you for your kind words.
All the best to you too ☺️
Such a heartfelt letter Mark. It's beautiful to see that a resolution was found by portraying your feelings in a different medium and I wish for your relationship to continue flourishing.
Thank you for sharing. 🙏🏾
Thanks for reading Malick, it's early days but we're taking it step by step!
That was really heartwarming and supportive of you, Mark!
Thanks Raveen
Hi again!
I wish you to know that you have a new dedicated daily reader! I sort through hundreds of newsletters weekly and yours and yours alone have interested me anyway here on Substack. I have one author on Medium, I am an avid fan of their drabbles lol.
I would love to follow you on social media if you can direct me to some links.
Thanks!
I even took the cool survey—great idea! As a reader, author, and consultant, I think everything entertaining interests me!
Peace love light and joy
Hi Michelle, what a nice thing to read. I'm only really active here on Substack. I'm on Bluesky too but not as often.
Thanks for taking the survey, reading and commenting 🙂
indeed.
This is a very sweet piece that really moved me. Thank you. I have a few conversations that need to happen and while in the past I would have taken this approach, I’ve been challenged in recent years to lean into the risky and vulnerable unknown of real time. That said, I prefer your method. When do you suppose a letter is not the way to go?
Thanks for reading Paul, I think it depends entirely on the situation and the people involved. I'm very much a person who just wants to get things sorted and out of the way but there are times when this doesn't work.
I think you can only know when you're opening the door to a conversation what approach will work best. There's nothing stopping you from writing something and then reading it in person, then you can discuss it afterwards and if your mind goes blank you'll have it written down to refer to?
From the heart so beautifully written🌹
Thanks for reading and thank you for your kind comment.
“Sometimes, when things feel too hard, make us worry, or are scary, we sabotage ourselves. It’s like saying, “If everything’s going to go wrong anyway, I’ll make it happen on my terms.””
This is exactly how I’ve felt about overwhelm and when things just start falling apart, or everything seems to be crumbling down around me.
“They don't have a map and a compass for everything, you don't always need to know which direction to go, but it’s not okay to give up on yourself. You are stronger than the spiral you’re in right now. I just don't know if you realise that?”
This right here is helpful for a mind that is in a shame spiral or just feeling completely down and close to giving up or not caring anymore. I resonate with this.
“That girl is still you. And I will never stop believing in her. I'll never stop believing that you can believe in yourself.”
She’s lucky to have you in her life to be able to have a person that stands behind her and believes in her. This is exactly how I want to be as a father to a daughter.
Thanks Mark, I appreciate you taking the time to read it and write this.
Oooh, signposted to this via Louise @divergentlearningdiaries Felt every word. Heading off now to show it my husband (also a marathon runner). Louise is right, it really shouldn’t be this hard for our kids (or, frankly, for us) There has definitely been a societal/cultural shift (or several) that has/have proved a step too far for our kids. I long for some ease & peace for our daughter (& by extension, for us). Thanks for sharing, Mark - Merry Christmas to you & your family.
Merry Christmas to you too, I'm glad you felt it too, it really shouldn't be so hard, we can only try our best for our kids, it does feel harder now, I can't pinpoint the shift, but I've definitely felt it.
Thanks for reading.
This was an inspiration to me. Thank you!
Thanks Mark, I appreciate you reading.
Cute. Communicating that there is love behind your efforts is hard. You wrote a brave, lovely letter. Thanks for sharing the warmth of that disney hug with us.
Thanks Mayank. Appreciate you reading.
I especially appreciate your meta-moment at the end. It helps me learn.
Thanks for reading Jo, I'm all about learning too, quite often I won't realise that I actually know how to solve a problem, or act in a particular moment until it's too late, so when I do notice and act accordingly it's a big win for me. I guess I'm becoming more mindful, which allows me to put appropriate things in place. Definitely a win when I can do this.